The sun is brightly shining and the heat is beaming on the tip of my skin. The air is blowing yet it feels as if it is all humid my skin begins to feel sticky. As I look beyond the scenary of a crowd full of San Jose State Students rushing to get to their next class I see a lady standing by the trash can. The lady was wearing a beat down dirty t-shirt, ripped jeans, mismatched shoes, and her hair was so nappy she had to tie it up. Right by her side was a grocery shopping cart full of her belongings which seems to be crushed cans, two litter soda bottles, and plastic bags that were full of clothes. Her life depended on the contents of the items in the grocery cart. She sticks her hand in the trash can and digs through left overs from lunch time. She finds a half eaten sandwich from Burger King and bites into it like it was her first meal of the day. She smiles and starts to talk to herself because no one ever bothered to speak with her because she was homeless.
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1 comment:
Good detail.
You need to work on being more consistent in using tense -- you start out using present tense ("the sun is shining...I see a lady..."), then switch to past tense ("the lady was wearing..."), and then switch back again ("She sticks her hand..."). Pick one tense and stick with it.
You also have one run-on sentence in need of additional punctuation: The air is blowing yet it feels as if it is all humid; my skin begins to feel sticky.
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