Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Mystery Character
Glistening eye shadow was caked on her lids, cheeks smudged and looked like a river full of mud, lips smothered with cheap lip gloss, hair looked uncombed and over bleached, and her tears extricates her fake eyelashes. As rumors agitate because of her controversial behaviors in public she seeks empathy. This once lovable character, high profile endorser, and snake-charmed performer evolved to an out of control maniac who lost self control. A fifteen minute marriage did not prove symptoms of mental frustrations because it drove her to bring two wonderful blessings into this world yet she is irresponsible. She gained the title, “Number One Victim of the Paparazzi,” and they continue to become richer and richer as she gets crazier and crazier. (122)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Some excellent details, but watch your phrasing:
It's not clear what looks like a river of mud -- streaking mascara?
Use verbs, parallel sentence construction and repetition to make this flow:
Glistening eye shadow was caked on her lids; her cheeks were smudged and looked like a river full of mud. Her lips were smothered with cheap lip gloss, her hair looked uncombed and over bleached, and her tears extricates [tense? word choice?] her fake eyelashes.
Post a Comment